You may be surprised to hear that 85% of the world’s population are affected by low self esteem, according to ‘The Self Esteem’ book, by Dr Joe Rubino.
Ironic really. People with low self-esteem and low confidence feel like they are alone, different, perhaps even odd at feeling the way they do, yet most of us are going through exactly the same things, albeit to varying degrees.
Your level of self-confidence can show in many ways: in your behavior, your body language, how you speak and what you say. Low self-confidence can be self-destructive, and it often manifests itself as negativity.
The root of your self-confidence issues may stretch back to a childhood experience or a significant low point in your life. On the other hand, it may have just been gradually eroded though a series of events in your life or the wrong relationships.
The danger is that once you lose confidence in one area of your life, it can spread and effect other areas too.
The good news is that building up your self-confidence and self-esteem is achievable, but there’s no quick fix, or five-minute solution.
Some believe that through positive thinking and positive self-affirmations one can help build their self-confidence. The trouble with this is it lacks a sense of vision and reward.
The true path to building your self-confidence is by setting and achieving your goals. This gives you a clear vision of the journey you need to take and offers a sense of reward and achievement once each goal has been reached.
So, unlike just trying to have a positive outlook on life and instilling positive thoughts, in the hope that it will lead to being more confident, by achieving a goal you have a tangible measure of your progress.
Building your Self-Confidence
Step 1: Preparation
Before you can embark on your confidence-building journey you need to have the focus and determination to carry things through.
No-one and nothing can hold you back if you truly embrace the belief that you can do it, period.
In this journey, you are ultimately your own worst enemy – despite what other influences try and throw you off course, if you hold your belief you can overcome any obstacles and keep going, you will succeed.
Nothing worth working towards is ever easy, there will be tough times but if you hold onto your belief then nothing can hold you back.
The first step is to take stock of where you are and where you want to go/what you want to achieve.
Think about the best things you have achieved in life so far, consider your strengths and draw inspiration from these things. They are proof that you can do it.
Also, consider your threats and weaknesses – the things that could threaten your progress towards working towards and achieving your goals.
Recognise them, understand them and consider how you will deal with them.
Taking Control of your Mind
Your biggest enemy…you own mind.
Losing your self-belief and negative self-talk can really hinder your progress, or halt it completely.
You shouldn’t be naïve enough to think it won’t creep in from time to time, but you can learn to deal with it.
Keeping a strong mental image of how you will feel once each of your goals is achieved will help you on your way.
Step 2: Setting your Goals
To truly develop your self-confidence you will need to set and achieve some goals. With each success your confidence will grow and you can move on to a bigger, more challenging goal.
Your goals are unique to you and the path that will lead you to improved self-esteem may be very different to someone else s.
But, by doing the right things and starting with small, easy wins, you’ll put yourself on the path to success – and start building the self-confidence that comes with this.
For many of the women we meet, a boudoir photo shoot is something that they lack the confidence to try and they feel the need to build up their confidence first.
In these cases, actually having a photo shoot is the last goal in their journey to being a more confident person. If this is you, then setting and achieving some smaller goals will eventually give you the confidence to give it go…and you won’t be disappointed.
For others, enjoying a boudoir shoot is just one of the smaller goals leading them to achieving something far greater.
Step 3: Staying on Course
Once you start achieving the goals you set yourself, no matter how small they are to begin with, you should be able to draw the confidence and strength to tackle the next one.
As you progress, make the goals a bit bigger and the challenges a bit tougher.
Keep the Mind Strong
Whatever happens on your journey to reaching your goals, stay positive. You will encounter setbacks and you will experience the ‘tough’ times when working towards your goals requires you to dig deep.
Stay positive – remind yourself daily why you are doing it and visualise the positive end result that is your driving force.